"it is better to take refuge in the LORD, than to trust in man. it is better to take refuge in the LORD, than to trust in princes" -psalm 118:8-9

something that i'm constantly reminded of.. A LOT. i've never been the girl to get really attached to a guy, cause honestly i haven't met one that i want to get really attached to yet... but still at times i've began to kinda talk to some guys or even just people & i really begin to just trust them with a lot of stuff and confide in them, and at times i get hurt by them... sometimes it's probably things that really aren't a big deal, but still it hurts.

--- i wish a lot of girls would see that trusting some guy with your heart, without that guy really knowing Jesus, and loving Jesus and pursuing Him, and loving Him more that that guy could possibly ever love you... then that guys not it. he's not the one should be trusting in. should truly trust in the Lord. like that verse says, "it's better to take refuge in the Lord, than to trust in princes.." don't run to some guy... run to JESUS. run to Him with everything you've got...

right now in my life i'm so content in Jesus, and my heart is overflowing with love for Him...and it is truly a desire of my heart to get meet that guy one day, and get married and have a family... but until God shows me who that guy is... i'm just here to be with Jesus. to serve Him....

i tell everybody that asks me..why don't you date anyone??? are you hanging out with any guys... and i tell them... there's not one that i want to date right now, or well i haven't met one... he hasn't found me yet... cause when i do start dating seriously, i only want it to be someone i can see myself marrying. its SUCH a big deal to me.

so for now i'm trusting JESUS. and only HIM.
i know he's got my guy for me, so i'm patiently waiting........
sure at times its hard when everyone friend you have is in a relationship.. but
really.. i get to spend my free time.. with JESUS. the one who loves me more than anything. how amazing is that. :)

broken heart.....september 11

September 11.
every time i hear that date, or it is that date... my heart kinda does
a flip.. i instantly go back to that day, where i was sitting, who i was with, what i was doing, what i was talking about & i remember every moment of it.
seventh grade, wow seems like a such a long time ago, but i remember i was in my
English class, and our math teacher, Mrs. Rogers ran over to our door and was yelling... the word trade center was just hit by an airplane! and honestly, i didn't know the towers as the world trade center, i just knew they were in the skyline of new york city, never actually knew what they were until that day... i was pretty young, and do regret not being knowledgeable of that stuff at the time, but hey what can you do? but anyways.. my English teacher turned on the t.v. & we started watching it, and then we watched the second airplane hit the towers... it was the craziest thing i had ever seen, and still to this day i've seen. all i could say was wow, did that really just happen? did i really just watch an airplane fly through a tower? it didn't seem real... and after we sat there for a few minutes.. she turned the t.v. off, i guess cause the class was getting a little rowdy & it was obviously heartbreaking.. but i remember just sitting there & then it hitting me.. do remember that i am only about 13-14 years old.. but it hit me.. wait, there's probably a lot of people in those towers... ( i know, duh ) but it hit me, and i begin to just wonder how many? are they hurt? what's happening? does someone in my class know someone that worked there? or how aout in my school? in my church? oh no. oh my goodness.

at this time in my life, i knew Jesus, but i wasn't saved. i didn't have a relationship with Him, it wasn't until that following summer, that i gave my life to Him, and he rescued me.

so really my thoughts weren't geared to Jesus when this horrific event happened... so i didn't think about this, but now.. in any event like this or actually there could never be anything in comparison to this, but anytime someone dies, or i hear of a natural disaster that's killed thousands of people... i'm so heartbroken.... and i still think about the people of September 11.. the innocent people that were killed that day..

and now, 9 years later...my heart is breaking still, for those people that were killed and their families.. my heart aches knowing that people in those buildings died not knowing Jesus. and we have our chance as christians.. we have it every day... to tell people.. everyday.. and you know sometimes i'm like..well they were in nyc, i never had a chance.. but yes i did...some how, even through prayer.. i can pray for people all over this world.. to come in contact with someone.. someone who is going to be Jesus to them, and to show them who He is.

so that's my prayer..always.. i pray for people in this world everywhere... that they will be RESCUED. and that they will come to know JESUS. and come to know this love, and grace.. and amazing man that wants them, that wants all them.. that can heal them and be there.. and wrap His arms around them when no one else is around..
so, yeah that's it.. just my thoughts this morning as i was continuing to pray for those families... i know this day, every year has to be hard for them...

and as a christian i'm so convicted that i'm not out being Jesus & sharing the love of Jesus, and telling these people that hey, there is something so much greater than this world, and when you leave this world, you get to be with that something, that SOMEONE.. forever. you know why? because HE DIED FOR YOU. He loves you!

so i'm praying. i'm praying for a broken heart everyday. a broken heart for the lost.

nuff said.

Let my cry come right into your presence, God; provide me with the insight that comes only from your Word. Give my request your personal attention, rescue me on the terms of your promise. Let praise cascade off my lips; after all, you've taught me the truth about life! And let your promises ring from my tongue; every order you've given is right. Put your hand out and steady me since I've chosen to live by your counsel. I'm homesick, God, for your salvation; I love it when you show yourself! Invigorate my soul so I can praise you well, use your decrees to put iron in my soul. And should I wander off like a lost sheep—seek me! I'll recognize the sound of your voice. -Psalm 119:169-176

child-like innocence.

Child-like innocence is the attitude of heart where one is untainted by pride, self importance and open to the good with a pure heart. Children are naturally pure, innocent and trusting, and these are characteristics of childlike innocence.

Jesus Christ stated that, "... unless you become like little children you will not enter the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 18:3). So to be childlike is simply to be open and trusting, with no ill will or evil intentions.

Jesus knew the importance of children. They may be hard to deal with some days, but they bring joy, hope, fun, happiness to any situation, and they are the future, and one thing that stands out to me is their innocence.

The innocence I mean is a little different than you may expect. Part of it is just wondering about things you don't understand, and I have witnessed this over and over again. Why don't we just look around and wonder about the world: the beauty of a flower, the joy of just listening to things at night, the desire to just understand everything.

Then I thought of something else, why don't we have an innocent desire to try to understand as much as we can about God. We know things, but how often do we dig even deeper to discover even more. Being around children as much as I have has shown me this. I mean just being in the streets of Costa Rica playing and running around with those children, and seeing how they just love to be loved, and how they want to just be around you all the time... how they appreciate everything... and how they're just so innocent, so pure.. the world hasn't gotten them yet.. I want my life in Jesus to be like that.. I want to have that desire to understand Him and His word more and more...

And then, I look at my niece, and I just love to watch her learn and discover new things. She just has this sweet, sweet spirit about her. She's excited about everything. I love to just sit back and watch as she tries new things. She has this passion for life. So alive and filled with joy! I also love how trusting she is, and how much she relies on us, and how much she just loves. I can only wonder how my life with Jesus would be if I could have that child-like innocence about me... that passion to really learn and grow. That love, that desire to just be free in Him, just like little children. I love how free my niece acts.. so alive. I want to trust Jesus, like she trusts.. I want to give Him everything without worry or fear.. I'm longing for Jesus so much more lately, and I was watching my niece today, and I was praying earlier, I realized that I want that child-like innocence. I want to portray that never-ending joy that I know I do have in my Jesus.. I want others who do not know Him to see me so passionate and alive in Him. I'm praying that I will appreciate everything, and that I will be excited to learn and grow in Him, just like children are excited to learn new things... and I want to trust, just like my three year old niece trusts.. I just want to jump into the arms of Jesus completely and fully without any worry or fear.

So I'm praying for child-like innocence, and also when in comes to the trust thing, for faith a like a child.. and just to be free in my Jesus, and just like little children are passionate to learn new things, I want to have that passion always to learn new things about my Jesus.

to the only God.

To the only God
Who is able to keep us
Able to keep us from falling
To the only God
Be all glory and honor
Majesty and power
For all ages now, and forevermore

this song is by Shane & Shane and David Crowder and although the words are so simple, they remind me so much of how holy & merciful our God is! i've just been singing it lately, and it's just such an awesome chorus!


"To Him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before His glorious presence without fault and with great joy— to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen." -Jude 24-25

tough day at the office.

not really. haha.. i'm an intern at greenbrier church & it is amazing.. i work with drew, the other intern..he's pretty awesome.. we have fun doing absolutely nothing... right now, we are both writing a blog... :) we work under shane... shanepadgett.com -- amazing guy! & his wife diana.. is incredible also! we love them!


so tonight we do have the 99-1 project, so that will be awesome! it's where we have 100 + dollars & we go out and basically just bless people & give it away to those in need... at gas stations, grocery stores, food places..wherever the Lord leads us too! it's going to be awesome :) we have about 14 or so students and adults coming...so it's going to be some amazing Jesus time!

this summer has been amazing.. tonight, maybe..or tomorrow..i'm going to write about Costa Rica.. God's put some stuff on my heart & i really want to share my experience.. so stay tuned.. that will be coming soon!

this week i've been house/dog sitting for shane & diana.. their dogs tebow & peja are incredible.. so smart! they let you wipe their paws off before they come in the house.... i was definitely impressed. i'm having fun hanging out with them! my best best best best frien kayla is staying there with me :) i love her. our heart-to-hearts are my favorite times with her.. we can get to talking about some stuff.. and talk and laugh for hours. it's awesome, i recommend everyone find a friend like her! she loves the Lord, and has an amazing heart for helping & serving others!!!

this is a random blog, i apologize.. but that's how my mind works.. it's constantly switching into 3947523475 different directions...i think that's called ADD.. oh well ! and if i have some grammatical errors/ words spelled wrong.. i'm sorry.. i'm not on my computer where i have the little red squiggly line come up if something is wrong.. so yeah.... :)


some words of encouragement to leave you with.....

"for it is light that makes everything visible. this is why it is said:
...wake up, O sleeper,
rise from the dead.
and CHRIST WILL SHINE ON YOU!"
--ephesians 5:14

here i am.

so this is my first blog. just decided to make one, wanted to share my heart. don't care if anyone really reads it or anything.. just basically going to journal about stuff. if you are reading this, or if you do choose too..just going to warn you now, i'm not the best writer. i basically write how i talk.. so yeah, if you know me personally then you know it's just going to be a bunch of words jumbled out, at times kinda awkward and all over the place.. ha. but oh well.. i just feel like this blog will just be a place for me to just kinda share my heart, and to be real. not caring about who reads it or what i say.. at times it may be really personal ( but obviously not, too too personal, cause why would i blog about that? ) but there may be sometimes when i'm just very honest..and let it all out there.. but then again, i may just write about what the Lord has been teaching me, or what i'm learning.. so yeah that's about it...

i'm kinda a mess, my life is all over the place right now.. i'm twenty years old, seeking hard after the Lord, but at times.. you know i try to do my own things.. but that's what i love about God..he shows me right then & there.. that i can't do it without him. he picks me up.. a lot. i fall.. but he's there. i'm striving to be Jesus to others everyday. my desire is for others to see Him through me.

i'm learning as a woman, i guess i'm a woman..but anyways. i'm learning to be fully content in Jesus right now. i do have my "girly" moments, where i think about being in a relationship.. because seriously.. it would be about time.. considering that i've never been in one... but God is good. and he's got all of that under control.. and i'm totally fine with being a lady in waiting. i'm content in my Jesus. i know that he is my only true Prince, so until God shows me who he has picked out for me, i'm good. i love that Jesus constantly reminds of his unfailing love..every day. it shows me that no man can ever love me like he loves me. i have a peace about waiting, and i know that God knows its a desire of my heart, to one day be married to a godly man, so i'm just praying for my future husband to be more in love with the Lord that anything.

also at this time in my life, i'm trying to figure out really what it is that the Lord wants me to do. i have really been feeling a call for missions, i know that as christians...we're all called into some type of mission field, but i feel like the Lord could possibly want me to go away, or not.. he could want me to be here to serve him in that way.. i just don't know yet. i'm just seeking him, and doing his will right now. so for now i'm just going to school and being Jesus here.. until he sends me somewhere.. or gives me an opportunity to serve here.

so thats about me.. kinda where i am right now. i hope to keep this thing updated.

psalm 63:1-5 has been my prayer lately... just to really seek after the Lord.. it says..

O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you,
where there is no water. I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory.Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you.....

i just love that thirst for God.. that craving for him. my prayer is that i have that all the time.

-kd