here i am.

so this is my first blog. just decided to make one, wanted to share my heart. don't care if anyone really reads it or anything.. just basically going to journal about stuff. if you are reading this, or if you do choose too..just going to warn you now, i'm not the best writer. i basically write how i talk.. so yeah, if you know me personally then you know it's just going to be a bunch of words jumbled out, at times kinda awkward and all over the place.. ha. but oh well.. i just feel like this blog will just be a place for me to just kinda share my heart, and to be real. not caring about who reads it or what i say.. at times it may be really personal ( but obviously not, too too personal, cause why would i blog about that? ) but there may be sometimes when i'm just very honest..and let it all out there.. but then again, i may just write about what the Lord has been teaching me, or what i'm learning.. so yeah that's about it...

i'm kinda a mess, my life is all over the place right now.. i'm twenty years old, seeking hard after the Lord, but at times.. you know i try to do my own things.. but that's what i love about God..he shows me right then & there.. that i can't do it without him. he picks me up.. a lot. i fall.. but he's there. i'm striving to be Jesus to others everyday. my desire is for others to see Him through me.

i'm learning as a woman, i guess i'm a woman..but anyways. i'm learning to be fully content in Jesus right now. i do have my "girly" moments, where i think about being in a relationship.. because seriously.. it would be about time.. considering that i've never been in one... but God is good. and he's got all of that under control.. and i'm totally fine with being a lady in waiting. i'm content in my Jesus. i know that he is my only true Prince, so until God shows me who he has picked out for me, i'm good. i love that Jesus constantly reminds of his unfailing love..every day. it shows me that no man can ever love me like he loves me. i have a peace about waiting, and i know that God knows its a desire of my heart, to one day be married to a godly man, so i'm just praying for my future husband to be more in love with the Lord that anything.

also at this time in my life, i'm trying to figure out really what it is that the Lord wants me to do. i have really been feeling a call for missions, i know that as christians...we're all called into some type of mission field, but i feel like the Lord could possibly want me to go away, or not.. he could want me to be here to serve him in that way.. i just don't know yet. i'm just seeking him, and doing his will right now. so for now i'm just going to school and being Jesus here.. until he sends me somewhere.. or gives me an opportunity to serve here.

so thats about me.. kinda where i am right now. i hope to keep this thing updated.

psalm 63:1-5 has been my prayer lately... just to really seek after the Lord.. it says..

O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you,
where there is no water. I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory.Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you.....

i just love that thirst for God.. that craving for him. my prayer is that i have that all the time.

-kd